You are Constantly Under Construction!

Don’t you hate when you workout so, SO hard to lose a ton of weight and then you look up 2 months later and see you’ve gained it all back? Over the last year or so I’ve noticed that all change a person wishes to see in their life, stems from their mindset. Whether you want to get a certain job, lose weight, love yourself more or get over somebody, your success is only as great as your mindset. I have learned that in all areas in life constant growth must be happening. For example, losing weight is not a one and done thing. Losing the weight is one thing. Keeping the weight off is another. Or think about self-love. Some days I feel on top of the world and other days I feel like Fiona from Shrek before she let everybody know she was an ogre. I personally constantly have to learn how to love, forgive and be true to myself like I know everybody else has to. If you feel like you are stuck in the same rut over and over again please STAY CALM! You are not the only one!!!!

To help you get out of this rut I want to remind you that you are a continual work in progress. You will never be 100% complete grown (done growing) in any aspect of your life. Those who do not recognize learning and growth goes on way outside and beyond a classroom are those who aren’t even trying to reach their fullest potential. The two factors that will stop your personal growth dead in its tracks are:

1. Worrying about other people’s growth
2. Being too hard on yourself.

WAYS TO PUSH THRU IT!

1. STOP WATCHING EVERYONE ELSE’S GROWTH– and comparing it to your own. Mkay. Like you, as yourself, has a whole world you’re in charge of. You are your own planet. So everything on Alexis’ planet WILLLLLLL NOTTTTTT BE THE same, or events will not happen the same as how it happened on somebody else’s planet (or life, or world.)

2. STOP BEING SO HARD ON YOURSELF.- Sometimes we get too hard on ourselves because we can’t stick to a diet or New Years resolution, but literally it starts in your mind. You have to change your mindset and if you backslide it’s because you’ve lost focus on the goal, which is normal! Stop beating yourself up. Whether you can’t get it together on your diet or you acted out in a manner you are not 100% proud of it’s cool, because you know that you aren’t where you want to me. That’s the start.. Your constantly under construction baby!

you yesterday < you today< you tomorrow

Always remember there are different strokes for different folks. When you find yourself concerned about what’s happening for someone else I urge you to envision your planet. I believe that each person here on this world has a life equivalent to their own planet. Their likes, dislikes, personal preference along with other factors make up a pretty groovy planet don’t you think? Anyway, not only is it a therapeutic way to cope with feelings but it is a very fun way to remind yourself of your individuality. This is your planet. Your life! No two lives are the same so stop trying to be like someone else. Below are just three examples of what I mean by visualizing your planet. I ask my 2 friends, Ryen the beautiful and talented fitness guru and Alicia the brilliant and stunning scientist to describe their planets to me. You my friend will also see a snippet of how I would describe my planet. All three of us are friends keep that in mind.
Ryen’s Planet

Looking at my planet from space, there would be soo many yellow stars, some big and small, and a warm colored Milky Way, that boosts you with energy and comfort.

On my planet, there would always be sunset skies. Beautiful colors and depth that gives you so much hope. Every single day.

Sunflowers would cover the grass and there would be magnificent views from almost every where you stand.

The people would be filled with so much love, passion and knowledge. Everyone would walk to the beat of their own drum, allowing so much individuality, peace and serenity.

All types of soul music would serenade you as you walk down the street. Making you feel as if you’re actually floating on a river to your destination. Or even walking on the part of the beach where the water meets the sand.

Light breezes and sunshine, warm skies, great vibes, + all happiness.✨

Alexis’ Planet

From outer space my planet would be light blue with rainbow colored rings on the outside.

My planet would only be 10% land. There would be islands all over the world. Each island would have a different color sand. The water all over the world would be clear blue with some specs of deep sea blue.

The sea creatures are friendly enough to visit close to the island shores often and swim with people peacefully.

Each island would have a different vibe and music genre playing. Each island would have its own culture and way of living that was accepted and embraced by all who visited.

The nights would be longer so that the moon and stars could stay out later and they would shine brighter. Northern lights would fill the whole night sky.

On my planet everyone would be adventurous and want to try and create new things. My planet would be filled with laughter, love and adventure.

Alicia’s Planet
I want a medium sized planet that is covered in green craters but the color of the planet is like a pink and purple jaw breaker!

I want very tall trees covered in green with flowers and water blue and crystal clear with the prettiest fish and mermaids!

I want animals that resemble Pokemon and a sun brighter and more yellow than ours and two moons, one super large and another one in front of it!

YOUR TURN

Now think about your planet. What would it look like from space? What would be found on it? How would you describe the vibe of those who live on your planet? I’d love to hear so please share!

Trust that you are in the right place in your life no matter what. No matter how hard it is,  learn from each season you go through.  I am currently going through all of this and use my blog as a therapeutic way  to encourage myself and I hope that this post has encouraged you.  With all that being said I leave you all with this quote that I’m about 95% sure that I made up. I mean I searched it online and I didn’t come up so, yeah I think I made it up!

“This is life. You are above all else human. You progress to regress to progress again.”

Self “EXCEPT” TANCE

BEFORE YOU READ THIS POST – Please enjoy the video below

If you couldn’t play it here is the link:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UHjUx1BOrvk

Now, I hope that if you weren’t smiling before clicking the link to read my blog, you are now.  And I know what you’re thinking. “Alexis was such a dork!” And I TOTALLY AGREE!! I’m proud of that! In high school I knew myself like the back of my hand. And truth be told, I VOLUNTEERED to be the “Be The Change” Bee in the video above. I feel like my high school experience was very different from most. I didn’t care what I wore, or who wanted to be my friend. I didn’t care if you or your friends thought I was cool. I mean, I didn’t even take a date to prom that’s how much I didn’t care! I said all this to say that  I feel like when we are younger, we are more accepting of ourselves. I mean I read comics books at lunch. My closest friends were the foreign exchange students from Finland, Germany and Mexico. More or less I loved myself in high school!

friendsprom

(The photo to the left is a photo is of myself, my mexican foreign excahnge friend Danni and my German foreign exchange friend Debbie. The photo to the right was me on my prom day. As you can see there are only 3 guys in the picture.)

When I went away to college, everything seemed to change. I started to become aware of how “uncool” or in my words “unique” I was, based off of the culture I was around. The type of music I listened to didn’t suit everyone’s fancy and it started to make me feel weird. Naturally I wanted to make friends so I basically hid high school Alexis. Not saying that I faked my personality throughout my undergrad years because I didn’t. If you knew me at Saint Aug, I was 100% myself. Well 100% of myself that I accepted.

Factors  like the media and internet  during my undergad  years and even today make people think that  it’s way cooler for people to be everybody else but themselves. All I see on social media is “Oh y’all need to be “woke.” or “I’m looking for someone  sapiosexual.”   “I need to be popular and I need to be cool.” Blah, blah, blah. Label, Label, Label.  With all this advertising of what society or your friends or your crush “thinks” you’re supposed to be, it’s SOOOO easy to lose yourself.

Let me start by saying human beings  are abstract creatures. What you see is NOT what you get. Meaning that we are deeper than our image. We having passions, likes and dislikes. No female is exactly like the one next to her,  just like no African American person is exactly the same. I say this because people feel that they should like certain things because of their gender, culture or race.

I’m here to tell you that your spirit has no color. NOOOOOOO, I AM NOT A WITCH or a super religious person.  A person’s  brain and  heart is under their skin or within, if you will. You take that brain out of the head and the heart out of the chest, nobody would be able to tell what ethnicity these organs belonged to. No, I’m not saying that I’m not proud to be black because there will be some crazies trying to come at my neck for this, but  I’m simply saying I am more than the color of my skin.

I recently hung out with a friend and we just talked about life. I have always been close to this friend for some strange reason but I never questioned it. We started to talk music and I was surprised that he was NOT only naming rappers but he was naming alternative rock and pop bands. I like all types of music so I was like “whhhhhhaaaatt?!! “What you know about them?” Then I had a crazy idea. I said “Let me see your Pandora playlist.” And he was all like “What?? That’s personal. That’s a man’s personal sanctuary. It’s like touching my radio.” And I was all like “Uhhh duh! I wanna know what you listen to riding in the car alone.” We traded phones and looked at each other’s Pandora playlist. To my suprise we had so much more in common than I originally thought. Here I am talking to one of my black friends from an HBCU about Coldplay and Maroon 5. I mean, we  jigged to Migos at Suite 301’s kickbacks about a year ago so I never thought that he would be interested in any other genre of music. By opening up fully to my friend I felt liberated. I was like wow!  In that moment I thought to myself  

“Even when you feel like you are the ONLY ONE in the world liking something, there is always someone else who likes what you like too and they are closer to you than you think.”

From the moment on I’ve learned to embrace what I like because ultimately they make me who I am today.

I’ll tell you another story. I recently had to go to the eye doctor to get  new glasses. I have ALWAYS wanted to get circle shaped lens but would settle for a different shape because I was scared of what other would say about them. This particular time I looked over the glasses selection for darn near an hour and debated between square, basic frames or circle frames. After sending a few pictures to the SQUADDDDD (my two friends, my sister and mom) and heard their feedback I decided to go with the style that made me happy although they look a little old. My mom says I look like Celie. I don’t mind. I embraces my choice of style and adopted a new personal when I wear these frames. Everyone meet Celie Kravitz!!!!

celie

OVERALL WHAT I’M SAYING IS- BE UNAPOLOGETICALLY YOURSELF!

Do what you want! Like what you want! Act how you want! Read what you want! Listen to whatever you want to listen to! AND DON’T YOU LET ANYONE MAKE YOU FEEL WEIRD OR MAKE YOU FEEL THAT YOU HAVE TO HIDE WHO YOU ARE!

There is no reason to hide yourself likes and passions because other people can’t handle it. And news flash, YOUR REAL FRIENDS WILL ACCEPT YOU NO MATTER WHAT! So there is really nothing to fear.

Ways to ACCEPT ALL OF YOURSELF–  You, my emotional love machine of a friend are extremely complex. You have feelings,  goals and mindsets that change everyday. And everyday you must learn to accept who you are, where you are in life and the work you have to do to get where you want to be. Loving and accepting yourself is something you practice daily. It’s not just a one and done type of deal. Below is an activity  you can do to  challenge yourself to dig deeper.

  1. TO KNOW YOURSELF

Life is toshort to hide your light from anybody. I feel like you deserve to be yourself and love what you love without fear of being judged on race, gender or any other label. A way to get to know YOURSELF is to ask questions that dig deeper.  Below are a few questions you can ask yourself just to start the self exploration.

I am a ____ who loves _____. I watch _______ religiously. I am obsessed with _______, because ___________. I listen to _________ alot when I’m in the car by myself. My favorite song right now is ______ by ______. My favorite books to read are ___________, because ________. If I could buy two houses I would buy one in ________ , and one ______ because_________. In my heart I am a __________. _____________ makes me unique. ___________ sets my soul on fire.

MY ANSWERS 

I  am a girl who loves anime.( Dragon Ball Z is one of my favorites.) I also love to watch people play video games. I watch cartoons religiously. I am obsessed with anything super hero related because like who wouldn’t want to save the world and have powers. I listen to  Indie pop music a lot when I’m in the car by myself. My favorite song right now is Gooey By Glass Animals.  My favorite books  to read are A Series of Unfortunate Events, because I like fiction and mystery stories.  If I could buy two houses I would buy one in the ocean and one on the moon, because I love astrology and the ocean.  In my heart I am mermaid.(They are Such beautiful creatures.) My personality, my style,  and spirit makes me unique. Making people smile and feel loved sets my soul on fire.

If you had trouble answering these questions, I challenge you to figure out the basics of what makes you tick.

2. TO GET TO KNOW OTHERS

Share your Pandora and Netflix info. No I don’t mean passwords! Hahaha! But allow a friend to check out what you watch on Netflix or what you listen to on Pandora when you are ALONE. You might have a lot more in common than you think. And if not, look at this as a opportunity to broaden your horizons. You might like something you’ve never tried.

I’ll share a part of my pandora.

pandora
3. STEP OUTSIDE OF YOUR COMFORT ZONE 
I believe that you can’t knock something until you try it. I think that the more we are exposed to as individuals, the more we come to know about ourselves. I want to challenge  you to a dare. Below is the video to my current favorite song. I think the beats in the song are staright FIIIIIYAAAAAAAAAAAAA. I dare you to close your eyes and listen to the song. If you like it, AYYYEEE! I got you hip. I turned you on to a song you would have never thought you’d like, by a group you’ve never heard of.  And if you don’t, you can at least walk away knowing that you honestly tried something new. And from here on out I want you to be open to trying new things.

If you couldn’t play it here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jeo3an2M_Lo

4. CELEBRATE BEING 100% YOURSELF

We live in the age  of Photoshop and plastic surgery. I am a firm believer in doing what make you happy so if photoshop makes you happy, DO IT. BUT you don’t have to. You shouldn’t change yourself to fit society’s image of beauty or normal. If you look like everybody else, and you act like everybody else how will you ever be unique and stand out? Give yourself kind and positive words of affirmation from time to time just reassuring yourself that 100% of you is more than enough!

NOW WATCH MY DRAMATIC EXIT AS THE BEE THE CHANGE BEE!!!

If you couldn’t play it here is the link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbdJDL_4qgs

My dears I hope I have inspired you to be UNAPOLOGETICALLY yourself! Much Love

 

 

Spring Your Style Forward!

Award season is over and might I say, this has been an ICONIC fashion year. In this post I’m going to talk about some of the greatest hits this season and how you can style like a celebrity for less.

 

1. Don’t pay gold for Marigold

We’ve watched JLo slay the Marigold game at the Golden Globes a few months ago. She styled her Giambattista Valli gown with clusters of diamonds and a diamond clutch! She legit looks like $$MONEY$$!

jlo

And if the “Shades of Blue” star didn’t give us ENOUGH life in this color, a few days later the FLOTUS turned heads at the State of the Union address. She took her already ICONIC fashion to the next level and  broke the internet in her Narciso Rodriguez dress making marigold this seasons go to color.

michelle

In my budget friendly remake I chose a $54 marigold dress from TopShop. It’s girly with the skater skirt and also a little sexy with the side cut outs. I also paired emerald earrings with the dress. I think that the color compliments the marigold and also give a springy feel. To top it off, I added a floral Coach bag that has  periwinkle, green and orange’ish flowers to soften  the collision of colors.

marigold combo

 

2. Emerald brick road

Actress Saoirse Ronan wore an Emerald Calvin Klein dress to the 88th Academy awards and it’s safe to say, I am still looking for my edges!

sarnona

The dress texture, and the V-neck! HUNTYYYYYYY PUSH THROUGH. The Irish beauty wore both white and green earrings to represent her home which was a unique look for the red carpet.

I found an emerald dress which was $26 from ASOS.com. It is not as deep of a green as Ronan’s butttt emerald comes in many different shades!  I live for this dress. The color is so spring brunch with the girls. We have a little bit of sexy going on with the v-neck and the spaghetti straps but it’s not too much. I paired the dress with a Steve Madden marigold thick wedged heel for more of a laid back chic look. To top off again I added the Coach bag. Clearly I’m obsessed with this bag, but in real life we want to transform pieces in our closet to wear more than once.

emerald combo

I wanted to show how good of friends Marigold and Emerald are. They are legit besties and compliment each other well. This season is all about bold colors and clothes that make statements. Let your fashion speak louder than your words!

THE BALANCING ACT

Today we’re gonna talk about THE BALANCE BETWEEN GETTING THIS CASH AND SHAKING SOME ASH! (You know what I’m trying to say but my mommy and grandma read my blog so we’re keeping EVERYTHANG PG! Also, Hi mom!)

I’m going to start with saying, I feel like the biggest balance us humanbeans and yes, I said humanbeans need to have in our lives is the balance between living and growing. When I say living I mean enjoying moments, family and friends. When I say growing I mean working on a career, and progressing mentally AND physically.  I know you’re reading this like “Pssshh. that’s easy, I have balance!” But I really want you to evaluate your balance. Have you been living and growing or have you been existing (going to work, going to school, going home then repeating) I’ll give you a second. Take your time! This is mucho importante.

photo 1 (1)

I ask this question because I feel sometimes people, especially young adults get too caught up into what type of business woman or father they want to be 5 to 10 years from now. They say “I’m working to buy this kind of house. I’m working to drive this type of car. Work. Work. Work. Work.  Work. Work is ma liffeeeeee!” It’s literally like, sheesh can we schedule a smile in between all that work? Please!? Don’t get me wrong. I am not saying that there is anything wrong with having a focused mindset! I mean without determination, and sacrifice how ones would goals ever get accomplished? What I AM saying is, to much sacrifice is NOT good for you. You CAN NOT keep giving to your job, or your family, or any institution or humanbean without recharging your own batteries. If you don’t take time for yourself to recharge, you are SOOOOO prone to random break downs and hysterical crying. Then when you call your family and friends to vent literally EVERYBODY disappears off the face of the Earth. All at the same time….A+ for being there when I really need you guys! *side eyes* I’m watching all of you!

roz
I also feel that a lot of the time we have tunnel vision. Sometimes people are so focused on that ONE big goal, they don’t give themselves credit for the MILLIONS of other goals accomplished along the journey. For example, picturing the mansion you want to raise children in and not celebrating the starter home you just moved into out of your one bedroom apartment! I mean if we we’re suppose to have tunnel vision all the time, why do we have two eyeballs?! Ahh duh, when have two eyeballs to see the bigger picture! So now I’m going to talk about the areas where we must find balance.

Area 1- GETTING THIS CASH
Which is basically the short and long term goals that you are trying to achieve. For me, it’s like “Huh, I gotta start this law paper. I gotta get an internship. Then I gotta find an entry level job. Oh yeah and I wanna be this type of wife, and that type of mother.” And so on, and so on. Just reading that sentence stressed me out to the point where I realized, I probably shouldn’t be writing this blog post. I should probably be on indeed.com. With so much I want accomplish I truly don’t have time to enjoy myself. Like literally I should have been applying for internships in Washington, DC in the womb. I should have been thinking about jobs in kindergarten. Like “No recess, bih! I gotta get these job apps in early!” But this is my exact point! Sometimes people feel that they have so much to accomplish they do not take the time out to do things they enjoy. I mean like what if I die tomorrow?

Area 2- SHAKING SOME ASH
Now I know what I just said was a terrible thing to say, but it is extremely realistic. We never know what day will be our last. I know personally I want a BA-ZILLION memories to keep me smiling for eternity. So I start thinking, ” I should go out. I should go to this party. I should take this trip! I should probably take that risk too while I’m at! YOLO!” With this mindset, working hard to achieve goals and better myself can fall to the wayside.  But then I think what if I have another 70 years to live? *places hand on chin in deep thought.*  I should be working towards my goals. Which again I state, I should not be writing this blog post. I should really REALLY be starting my 20 page law paper. I really should have started my paper in kindergarten too. *slaps forehead*

Now do you see how both areas intertwine and how if you don’t have balance you can be screwed dude?!
If not please enjoy this very boring and visually unappealing diagram I drew!

photo 3

The Moral of This Rant:
The future is unknown. So there is no way to plan for it. The best thing to do is find balance in your life to where each day you’re “GETTING THIS CASH AND SHAKING SOME ASH!” Each day you should be working towards your goals, and each day you should enjoy yourself!  You get in from a long day at school, take an hour to yourself and watch your favorite show…. Or read your favorite book! Do something that makes you truly happy! Contrary to popular belief, life does not ONLY happen on the weekends!

How to Balance That Thang for Beginners

1. Find ways to blend both reaching your goal and enjoying yourself! For example if you want to get that BAWDY beach ready, but hate the gym, find alternative ways to workout! Ways that you enjoy! I personally like hip-hop Cardio and Just Dance! Doing something you enjoy while working towards your goals can inspire you!  Shoot I get so inspired, I try to make up my own dance workouts….

2. When it’s time to do your work, FOCUS AND PRIORITIZE!  Nothing gets under my skin more than when it’s time for me to handle business and I am not prepared. I will literally just stare off and envision fighting my brain. Like I “square up” with my brain because I’m like you let me forget this! You’ve failed me! So now I must give you imaginary hands!! But seriously, not completely focusing will WASTE YOUR TIME AND STRESS YOU OUT! Then you really won’t be enjoying yourself later! So do your best to prioritize your work and have complete focus to getting the job done!

3. Schedule time for you to enjoy yourself. For example, Saturdays after I get off work I make a point to enjoy my life. Whether it’s going out with friends, reading a book, or eating a bag a chips (which is me cheating on my diet) I make sure that I live la Vida Loca! Remember you have to recharge your own batteries!

4. Celebrate your small accomplishments! You aced that mid-term? Guess what! You’re one step closer to graduating! Which means you are one step closer to reaching your ultimate goal! So you deserve to go to the movies or to grab a bite to eat! Treat yourself! Because if you don’t, who will?

5. Always keep an open heart!

LexX, over and out!

We’re Making Memories Over Here!

I’m all about experiences. I mean the best stories to tell start with “I remember that one time, et cetera, et cetera.”

What do I mean when I say I’m all about experiences you may ask.

I mean I’m all about breaking free from the normal. I’m all about creating memories with those I love.

I know you what you must be thinking. She’s creating memories, “she got monnneeyyyy.” With different mediums like social media and the television( I sound like my grandma) I feel that the idea of creating memories are only limited to vacationing in Paris, or backpacking through India ( which I would like to do both). But that is the most common misconception.

unnamed

Let me spit it to you like this! Each day of your life should be unique and memorable. I mean, it is YOUR life! YOU ONLY GET ONE! You never know what day will be your last. Now to make memorable days, you don’t need all the dough in the world. Surprising right?! I know! Notice exhibit A which is the photo to the right that concert says “FREE” right?  Below is a guide to help you create more memorable days.

1. Don’t be such a “NO Man”. Say yes to going on that lunch date or yes to that walk in the park. I promise you, your Netflix account will still be there afterwards.

2. Be present in the moment. When you’re out with friends, it’s okay to snapchat, but don’t let it consume your night. Upload the selfie of you and your bestie and let the night consume you.

Exhibit B which is right below.  A free event where paintings and sculptures done by local artist in Washington, DC were posted all over the city! I was in the FREE henna tattoo line with a FREE Coca-cola in hand I might add.

unnamed

3. Try something new!  You get a call from your homie to go ice skating on a frozen lake, do it! Maybe….. Ehhh only if you can swim…. Okay, maybe not ice skating on a frozen lake but you know what I mean! It would be one heck of a story to tell, am I right?! *high fives self*

unnamed

4. Search your city’s calendar of events! From poppin’ cities like Miami to tiny cities in Utah, EVERY CITY HAS ONE!  On there you can find out the various festivals, fairs and events being held in your city that you didn’t know about before. And news flash, a lot of their events are Free.99! They are free.com! ZERO PLUS ZERO?! ZERO BUCKS!

Exhibit C, which is the photo to the ri-zite. I participated in a FREE Traditional Ethiopian Coffee ceremony at a FREE Festivial in Maryland. Getting all culture-fied!

5. Keep an open heart!

Now lets get out there and start making memories! All hands in and break on the count of three! *sticks out hand* Ready?! ONE–TWO–THREE!

Love LexX <3